Unfortunately, this barrage of emails coincided with the launch of the well awaited Rock Band 2, which saw the length and number of our practice sessions sharply go up, removing any social and fanmail-reading time we may have had.
That being said, let's begin going through this Fanmail:
From: BANK OF AMERICAWoops, looks like we've got some spam. Lets just ignore this and move on to the next...
Sent: Tuesday, September 5th 2008
Subject: Congratulations!
Upon review of your records, 4 lenders have just agreed to pre-approve you for quick-cash refinancing or a new-purchase mortgage in the range of: $216,800.00 - $993,300.00
From: London Lotery CommisionWhat the... Me or my company won the London Lottery? Which is it? Cause if it's my company, I'll just go ahead an delete this email...
Sent: Saturday, September 27th 2008
Subject: London Lotery Commision
You or your company, attached to ticket number 110-2336-7774-455, with seral number 5458-88 drew the lucky numbers 11-47-33-10-45-89, and conseqently won the 5$ million lotery in category C.
Also, you'd think the London Lotery Commision (which doesn't even exist, for that matter) would award prize values in pounds, not dollars, and would know how to spell Lottery correctly...
From:I don't event want to know what "nuclear cheese helmets" have to do with "burly warriors"...(none)
Sent: Wednesday, October 15th 2008
Subject: nuclear cheese helmet
zhongguo buttonlamer burly warriors bullet excalibu sugar
From: MR YUSUF ALIMr. Yusuf Ali, please RELAX ON THE CAPS! Geez...
Sent: Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Subject: TREAT AS URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL.
DEAR FRIEND.
I AM NAIK YUSUF ALI ASSISTANT TO THE BRANCH MANAGER OF BANK OF AFRICA(BOA)OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO I WANT TO INQUIRE FROM YOU IF YOU CAN HANDLE THIS TRANSACTION FOR MUTUAL BENEFITS/LIFE OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU AND ME TO PRESENT YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN/ BENEFICIARY OF THE US$15MILLION DOLLARS WHO IS A CUSTOMER TO THE BANK WHERE I WORK.
I HAVE RESOLVED TO OFFER YOU 40% OF THE TOTAL FUND,10% FOR SUNDRY EXPENSES THAT MAYBE INCURRED DURING THE PROCESS OF EXECUTING THIS TRANSACTION AND 50% PERCENT FOR ME.
IF YOU ARE REALLY INTERESTED IN THIS TRANSACTION SEND ME THE BELOW INFORMATIONS SUCH AS.
( 1 YOUR FULL NAMES ....................
( 2 YOUR PRIVATE PHONE NUMBER.............
( 3 YOUR OCCUPATIONS ..............
WHEN I RECEIVE YOUR RESPONSE VIA MY EMAIL ADDRESS, I WILL SEND YOU THE APPLICATION FORM WHICH YOU WILL FILL AND SEND TO THE BANK AS THE NEXT OF KIN.
THANKS AND ALAH BLESS YOU.
MR.YUSUF ALI
From: Elvis and Lora sankoh
Sent: Thursday, November 20th 2008
Subject: Help!
My parents were assassinated on the 6Th of May 2006 by the rebels following the political uprising in my country free town on they way coming back from work.
Due to the war in my country i decided to leave free town for the claim of the money here in Ivory coast. am alone in a totally strange country without parents, relatives at my tender ages. I have plans to leave this country and esterblish in your country in a good business vanture which you consider good and you will be the investment trustee and my guidance when i come over to your country. This is the reason why i contacted you for good assistance in recieving the money to your foreign account and the beneficiary.
Please if you are willing to assist me in transferring the money , indicate your interest in replying this mail for more informations.
Thanks and God bless,
Best regards
Elvis sankoh and Sister,Lora
Ok, that's it!
Dear Elvis and Lora,
Find attached the an email from the London Lotery Commission with a winning ticket number. This should provide you with at least $5 million. If you need any more money, please contact Mr. Yusuf Ali (email also attached), he should be able to help you raise the rest of what you need to leave your country.
Good luck in esterblishing your good business vanture in Canada...
DMan...
(I need some Tylenol...)
Are you a spammer looking for an email account to spam? Then open up your email and write to: "rejected.fans@live.com"!
1 comment:
Thanks everyone for your interesting business propositions! :) We will write back to each and one of you as soon as possible.
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